hmmm... upwind in a breeze I generally have a rather light helm, even with max headstay length.
If you're already using a #3, make it as flat as possible. Tightening the uppers along with backstay on hard may help that.
Twist off the top of the #3 a bit by moving the jib car back.
As a previous poster suggested, old sails may be deeper or draft aft than you'd like, both of which contribute to heel, and therefore weather helm.
